‘Twas The Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was happy; the wifi was out
Fingers were frantically hitting refresh
The patience of all was put to the test
Frazzled minions, and grown-ups as well
Hoped that a miracle, this gloom would dispel
In lieu of screens, distractions were needed
The urging of parents grudgingly heeded
Holiday books brought out once a year,
Managed to bring on smiles and good cheer
Hot Chocolate and marshmallows slurped with delight
Things were looking up this low-tech Christmas Eve night
The stockings were hung by the gas fireplace with care
Tradition demanded fruits and nuts end up there
Tho’ most would be bypassed in order to see
The pile of packages under the tree
Gluten-free cookies and almond milk were left out
Concern for St Nick's cholesterol, no doubt
It was hoped a slight drop in his red-suited girth
Would do nothing to diminish the jolly man’s mirth
Were there really eight reindeer pulling the sleigh?
Could they make it around the globe in one day?
Carrots were left out for them just in case
Sustenance was needed to finish the race
As the hot chocolate buzz lessened its hold
Children went to bed the first time they were told
For the sooner to sleep, the sooner to wake
The sooner to see the loot they would rake
Once asleep in their beds, the real work began
For the parents who each year, give Santa a hand
Gifts had been stashed for months here and there
Without thought to a plan, we now wondered where?
Eventually, most of the toys would be been found
Those still missing would be birthday gift-bound
Of Christmas morn, this was not our first go
We were seasoned veterans, parents in the know
Excitement and joy would be brought to a halt
By packaging sealed up like an impenetrable vault
And the number one rule to lessen the toll
No toys given without a volume control
We stepped back for a moment to take in the site
The mountain of presents, the twinkling lights
There was one more task to complete the illusion
Less clever little boys draw the wrong conclusions
The cookies were eaten, crumbs left behind
Milk was consumed, and it tasted just fine
A bite out of each carrot to complete the ruse
That the jolly old man indeed this way flew
It seemed our eyes had just started to close
When a squeal and a shout were heard from below
Three little boys in matching pajamas
Stared in awe at the tree and the presents around it
Cookie plate and glass were carefully inspected
All food and drink gone, as was expected
The crumbs on the plate a welcome site
For it proved Santa had come in the night
Of carrots, nothing left except for green tops
Proof the reindeer indeed had a snack at our stop
The biggest day of the year had finally arrived
Lists made and days counted since the 1st of July
“He came, he came,” their repeated shouts of glee
And demands were made: “Let the presents be free”
To each boy, one by one, gifts to unwrap
Each opened up in three seconds flat
The trains, the cars, legos, and balls
Were soon racing and bouncing up and down the hall
A brief break from the chaos for a very quick bite
Then back to the fun until it was night
Throughout the day, the toys had held them in thrall
And the wifi status was not mentioned at all
Regina Stoops is an award-winning storyteller, comedian, writer, producer, MS Warrior, and Autism Mom living with her wife and three kids in the San Francisco Bay Area.